Breaking free from imposter syndrome - a simple, powerful tool for rewiring your brain

You know the feeling … that churning in your stomach as you think about something from your day that made you feel like a big, fat failure with a capital “F”. 😬😖

And like a totally un-fun rollercoaster ride, other cringey memories pile on top.

Why does everyone else have it together more than you do?!

You don’t want to feel like this … you want to believe you’re smart enough, capable enough … but it’s like your mind takes you hostage every time you’re not perfect. 🤯

From my own life, I can tell you the process I’m about to share works to stop that loop.

How to rewire your brain with one simple tool

It’s so simple … at the end of every day, find at least five things you did well and are proud of.  You can simply think or write. 

Look for what you did well, what you learned, how you grew, what you navigated, what you accomplished, or goals you achieved (even little ones).

Seriously, it can be the smallest thing!  It doesn’t even need to be about work. 

“I managed to pick the kids up on time even though it was a lot to juggle!”.  Awesome!! 

It’s not about perfection.  It’s about celebrating your progress and growth. 

The important thing is to deeply feel emotions like pride and appreciation as you reflect.  Let yourself smile (the cat might think you’re weird, but the dog will love it! 😊 ).

Set a reminder ... you'll forget until it's a habit. A journal on your bedside table is a great physical reminder.

The background story

First, let's understand what's going on when you're beating yourself up.

While you did tonnes of things well today, your brain will notice the one thing you stuffed up.  That’s our brain’s negativity bias.

And if we believe we’re not as good at our jobs as we should be, then our brains are constantly working to find evidence to confirm this.  That’s our confirmation bias in action.

Over time, well-trodden neural pathways become 8-lane super-highways, reinforcing this negative loop.  Our brains are literally wired to spot our faults faster and more easily than our successes.

Not helpful! 

How it works

Noticing what we DID do well starts carving out a narrow, dirt walking track of an alternative neural pathway. 

Being consistent with this practice over time will slowly but surely turn that little track into a proper road, and then eventually a new 8-lane super-highway.

As this happens, the old “I’m not good enough” super-highway will fall into disrepair since it’s hardly getting any traffic these days.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you stick with it, it WILL happen!

Dr Tara Swart (one of my favourite neuroscientists – check her out on YouTube!) says that strongly feeling emotions is key for brain rewiring, so remember to really get into the feels of the memories.

And anyhow, feeling proud of yourself and happy with your progress is a much nicer way to end your day than that familiar old churning in your stomach and the crappy self-talk.

Learning and improving over time

This isn’t about ignoring things you’d like to improve over time.  Got growth areas?  Awesome! 

Set yourself up for more success next time: learn the skill, improve your behaviour, come up with a new strategy.  What went “wrong” today is simply great feedback of how to improve for next time.

A story of how it worked for me

Just before Christmas I had a “oh wow, this is crazy!!” moment.

I’d joined a programme being run by another coach.  One of the exercises was to journal about two big challenges we’d had in 2024.

On the next group call, I was shocked to hear from fellow participants how much they’d been triggered, upset, and frustrated by the experience.

I couldn’t remember it being horrible at all!

I looked back over my own notes and realised that EVERYTHING I’d written about was actually a positive spin on the challenging situation.

I saw that it was a challenge that came along specifically to help me … to help me grow, learn and evolve.

I’d written about how proud I was of myself in the way I’d navigated the challenge, what I’d learned about myself and the world, and how it helped me grow.

I’d even said “if this thing never came along, I would have missed out on all this growth.  I’m so happy I went through this, and it all worked out perfectly!”.

I was kind of blown away … I didn’t deliberately set out to take a positive slant on this exercise. 

It’s just how my brain works now, thanks to building my new 8-lane highway for celebrating progress.

Take it for a test drive?

So … what do you think? Will you give it a go?

Try it for at least a month … and then forever after (you can do a weekly review after a while).

Your existing super-highway wasn’t built overnight, and this new one will also take time.

At the very least, it’s a nicer way to end your day than ruminating and feeling stink about yourself.

At best, it could change your life! 🌈

Candice 💚

PS: Another thought about imposter syndrome.  No one expects you to be perfect.  No one else is perfect, and EVERYONE has self-doubts, even those who you hold up as the gold standard.

Life is about progressing, learning, growing. 

The only person to compare yourself to? You, a year ago.

So … be proud of YOU!  You’ve come so far … and you have so much wonderful stuff still ahead of you! 💃🏼🕺🏼

PPS:  If you’ve read this far … I’m proud of you and also deeply grateful you stuck with me and your future self.  You’re exactly where you’re meant to be, and you’re on a wonderful path of growth.  I celebrate that!  But mostly I want YOU to celebrate YOU! 🥳